Things Do Get Exciting

My life is never boring. Sometimes it’s frustrating, often it’s loaded with far too much work, but it never lacks for variety, surprises, and astonishment.

Since 1968, I’ve offered my well-known Challenge to the psychic wannabes out there. Until last year, it was $10,000 U.S. to any person who could provide evidence of a paranormal, occult, or supernatural event of any kind, under proper observing conditions. In the 28 years since I first offered that prize on an NYC radio program, some 75 folks came along and tried to win it. There were dowsers (by far the most popular claim!), ESP artists, Qi Gong practitioners, PK performers, healers, prophets, and a wide variety of strange folks, most of whom actually believed they had “The Power.” None did. 

Then, in response to a suggestion, I began to accept pledges in increments of $1,000 to sweeten the offer, when the “psychics” out there dismissed the prize as being far too small to interest them. Cutting to today: the Challenge Prize is now $1,100,000, U.S. guaranteed by the James Randi Educational Foundation. Okay, what do you suppose the complaint is at this point? They tell me that it’s now “too much!” You just can’t satisfy some people. 

None did.

A natural question arises. Why isn’t there a line-up of eager claimants at my door, hammering to be tested? From time to time, I get complaints that I don’t follow up on claimants who want to collect the U.S. $1.1 million. It’s quite true that, though I get many inquiries about the challenge, a confrontation seldom takes place. The major reason for this is that the claimants simply won’t go along with the rule! They prefer, instead, to try to engage me in long, rambling, descriptions of their miraculous powers, and therein they indicate that they’re not quite capable of dealing with a real world. In the words of Jamy Ian Swiss, “They just don’t know how the real world works.” 

Even those who actually get around to sending in the application form, as clearly defined on my web page (http://www.randi.org), still get into the process of producing endless discussion, rather than clearly stating what they think they can do. 

I decided to share with you part of the contents of a bundle of pink pages that arrived from abroad recently, from a dedicated person who is complaining that I’ve not paid her the prize money. I asked her for a simple description of her claim, not over 100 words. Read this excerpt from her response, and the next time you hear of someone who says I owe them the money, recall this mass of nonsense, and try to recognize my problem. 

This is exactly how the letter was typed: 

letter 3 

Dear James Randi Foundation, Please find enclosed the form that was sent to me after my previous letter. As to what I claim to be is beyond English written language. I have been called a prophet. I do see myself as Somebody ultimately unique. I know of many secrets. Some of which nasa officals would appreciate. Most of these items I have retained medical research that can not be unlocked as yet as we do not have the equipment to cope with it as yet. The equipment needed is not as you know knowledge or equipment. This item is beyond computers. This item is a living being. As the corrispondance continues you and all you colleges will learn that the once thought of as impossible is possible all from this person. I did wish to go public with what I have. But as I see around the world of many sects. That of which have been crumbling. I do not belong to any sects whether above board or not. I do have some people that are astonished by what I am capable of but as sometimes there seams to be a slight power struggle that has been looming over here. Most people find it more comfortable for them to not speak of such thing-. The time has come for openess. 

The representive you use must be strong not over bearing for myself. Written matter and questions may continue until such time as a suitable repreSentativQ may befound The next event that will occur after the reading of this letter is the unusal wave and shapeformation around the statue of liberty during this event all pollution shall vanish this will happen at the busiest time of the day. 

I do not wish to tell of such things as earth quakes at this time as many have already been predicted for towards the end of the century by many and long ago. The following event will happen close to florida the wall of a hurricane shall appear suddenly and without warning and shall set off towards that state so as may be seen by your, colleges the hurricane will diminish without taking any lives and minimal damage will occur. 

Any false or copiers of those writtings “hall cease from this day fourth as for the true the true shall shine through. For many the pshycic war will be over and they will no longer be able to interupt anybodies lives. The false shall no longer beheard . Somehow the appropriate people will hear of me and well the events after that shall astonish. Already the effects of my recent writings I sent to you were felt over here in Australia. The president of U.S.A. should have extra security by the time the time this letter arrives as the terrorist is nearby. This he will be caught as he has been going to a place called U.C.L.A. regulary. His plans to infultrate will come undone. HQ will be pointed out by something beyond his control. No harm will come to the President and all the evidence they need shall turn up. He has decided to do his own deeds as his trust has diminished. This will be the end of his demise and eventual shortly after capture his life. 

The president will also hear of me and reckognise me from somewhere that he will not mention to any one as yet. There is a massive meteor on its way and should be sighted after the reading of this letter this meteor will appear at first to be on a head on collision with earth the meteor will be steered away to the sun before any government instulation has a chance to launch any devices to destroy it. 

Thats all for the moment I look forward to meeting you. 

The blather never lets up.

Now, I have no problems with less-than-perfect spelling or grammar. I can—after long years of experience—figure these things out. But, as you can see, the blather never lets up. If any of these fuzzy predictions ever came true, I’m sure a victory would be claimed. 

But there’s more from this person … 

After the red moon. There will be a tornado in texas of such magnatude that it could whip out much of texas but this tornado is going to skip above all the towns or counties … The grand Canyon Shall be over wellmed with a pink and silver cloud cover … You may send over any recent unsolved crimes … Warning some disruption may occur to loose objects within the room of the reading of this letter. So very important that this lands in the right hands. A warning will go out from the white house to the people dabbling in aircraft control by unnatural intervention after the arrival of this written matter. There is more about me one day meeting will take place. 

P.S. I will try and cause the least damage as I can. As I wrote in my first letter I will not be held responsible for any damage caused by myself. 

Okay. I can go along with that. 

It’s sometimes worse when the writer has English as a second language. See what you can make of this, from a chap in Poland: 

If you couldn’t understand me how do I want to “send” to You my telepathical transfer / if I had to be real honest man, I would say: “I didn’t know!”—but I’ve performed a few tests, just like these I’ve described above, so I could describe it, how I imagine this process. When I look at and hear person—or see and hear his picture of video-recording—it will follow process, that I used to call: “the extending of my consciousness”/maybe, rather: my “self”/to place and time / the place and the concrete time, where and when the concrete person/-s/ was/. What else may I say? Oh, yes! 

This description went on and on. What’s here is only a small sample. 

I’m a simple soul. I eat whole wheat bread, and I understand it.

You might think that it would get better if the writer is English-speaking and well educated. Does it? Read this bit, from someone whose meaning I find obscure. And he’s on our side!: 

What is the nature of the Classical Monistic Absolute? Along Bradleyan lines the following can be said. First, time is in the Absolute; the Absolute is not in time. Thus it is completely timeless. Such, obviously, is not the case for human beings even if our perception of time and change are wholly illusory. Second, the Absolute is an infinitely integrated and all-inclusive experience which actualizes all possibilities and embraces the totality of the past, present, and future in one Timeless Eternity. 

Certainly no human being is so constituted. Third, since the Absolute is the timeless integration of all that is, there is nothing outside it and nothing other than it. Moreover, anything finite, is simply an appearance or manifestation of this Infinite Totality. Thus, it has no environment or outside. Persons, though, do definitely have an environment or an “outside.” Put as strongly as possible, the necessary and ineluctable condition for personal relations of any sort is the existence of finite beings interacting within the confine of an environment. Since the Absolute has no limitations of any sort, one cannot enter into personal relations with it. AGAIN, if one wants personal relations with a personal God, consistency and coherence alone, demands that that God be thoroughly finite. 

I’m sorry, friends. I’m a simple soul. I eat whole wheat bread, and I understand it. This stuff is beyond me, I confess. I’m just looking for direct answers to direct questions. Help!